Where/how would you (theoretically) store physical gold?

Speaking theoretically and no personal details what methods and devices eg safes do you use.

I recently told my bank manager I was considering buying some gold and asked about storing it at the bank. The manager almost laughed at the idea and said haven’t heard of any banks providing that service in years. I had no idea it was a laughable proposal.

I contacted a gold seller in the capital city and was told by them a lot of people just bury it.

Both seem unlikely to me, hence the question.

two stories i remember .. one was a holder that got the kid/teenager to paint the ingot with enamel ( allegedly a modernist art student in the making ) and used it as a door stop in the home office

another had a bar of dore painted a drab ( but durable ) paint job and used it as the paperweight in the study , of course there are plenty of stories about secret cavities in the walls , floor , garage ,

one granddad allegedly buried his wealth and the surviving sons and daughters believed that so demolished the cottage dug up the yard and fruit trees and then sold the property as cleared land , the fly in the plan was my MOTHER ( not a BLOOD relative ) was the executor of the estate but was completely uninformed in all this ( including the executor part ) until the sale came to a screaming halt

the property was in NZ and mum was holidaying in North Qld , seems some lawyers incurred some hefty travel expenses , i realized granddad never trusted his surviving children ( apparently correctly ) so have never bothered to have contact with them since ( 30 years back ) i probably should be upset but mum’s side of the family left me stuff ( when i expected nothing at all )

for those intent on burying it , there used to be survivalist guides that included discreet burials of large metal objects , i guess they would work for gold and silver as well

now one thing i have noted in my social circle , is NOBODY brags about their stash ( if they have one at all ) sure some have some fancy cars , designer watches , etc etc but the stash is the SECRET back-up plan ( if they have one )